Monday, July 30, 2012

Mike's Mondays with Mike McGee: Going for Gold

       We, here at Shlockness Monster, hold the highest regard in national pride. That’s why, in honor of the ongoing Olympithlon Bowl, I’m gonna play some games that can loosely be traced back to those first Grecian fun times. I’m putting as minimal fluff into this as possible so that you can get back to cheering for the good guys to beat those yellow-bellied chumps for the gold (not meant to be racist, so don’t ban me! <-- topical). I’ma start things off with the highly appropriate, Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games (Super Fallout 3 Edition)!!
Japan seems really over-represented at these Olympics
       So, in Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games: Super Fallout 3 Edition (for brevity’s sake, I’ll just call it Fallout 3 for the duration). You play as Mike, who was apparently born in the 101st fallout shelter or vault because of a nuclear bum. Mike’s dad, Liam Neeson, wants nothing more than for his son to be an Olympic gold medalist. Unfortunately, Mike’s specialness is in intelligence not strength. A devastated, but still proud, Liam Neeson leaves the vault, which was equivalent to crucifying Jesus in terms of time-out time given as punishment. His quest is to find a way to bring intelligence competitions to the Olympics. Some stuff happens and you leave as well in search of your dad. You basically have to help people out so that you can go find your dad or something, but everything’s all busted up because of the nuclear bum. The radiation is worse than the Beijing Olympics and you’ll easily rack up the radiation if you don’t watch what you eat and where you step.
And this is where you'll be working. You get used to the radiation after a while, don't worry.
       I haven’t gotten very far in the game, but from what I’ve seen so far, I can say that I appreciate them bringing up this issue about the Olympics not including events that test your mind as well as your strength. I would’ve also liked to see more of Mario and Sonic in the game, but like I said, I’m not that far into the game. The environments in the game do a lot to emulate the feeling of a boy on his way to the Olympics. The inward anxiousness and tension is reflected quite beautifully in the desolate landscapes and dilapidated cities. They even go so far as to make the player actively fight off bandits, vicious dogs, big bugs, mole rats, walking crab goons, and super mutants. All of which represent a different type of temptation a young athlete faces, the most notable being the representation of steroids through super mutants. If you’re not careful your hopes of making your dad proud and writing your name in the history books could end up six feet under.
Oh THERE he is!
       I know it’s a little early for me to be talking about replay value, but it’s some that I have to address. I would venture to say that the replay value of this game is extremely low based on extrapolating my current experiences. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the journey to the end of the game seems like it’s going to be a hell of a time. And I don’t want to seem elitist, but my experience is probably going to be better than most. I mean, the main characters name is Mike, just like mine. He has more intelligence than strength, just like me. And his dad is Liam Neeson…ok, so two out of three ain’t bad. So I’m not complaining about the première experience, but they could’ve expanded on the story a bit by telling it from different angles. Like maybe you could have a dude that was a favorite to win a medal, but has to overcome his addiction to some addictive substance in order to do so. Or maybe you could play as some jerk who hates the Olympics and does everything he can to get everyone to hate him. Those are just a few examples of things that could be possible with a little customization. Alas, you’ll only get to experience the incredible story of Mike the Thinklympian. Maybe they’ll experiment a bit in Mario and Sonic at the 2016 Rio Olympic Games: Fallout 4 Edition.
This is what a think of your stinky Olympics, BLEEHHH!
       That’s it for this week! Enjoy those Olympics and root for the good ol’ red, white, and blue. But only the RWB with the stars and stripes…and say USA on the uniforms. Go Team! Before I officially sign off, I’ll be serious for a sec and say that I’m really enjoying Fallout 3 and if you’re really in the dark about this game and were expecting to get the scoop on the game, MMwMM style, I have two words. First of all, shame on you as a gaming researcher to look on a blog for your first taste of a game. Secondly…you know, I had a ‘secondly’ but now I’m drawing a blank. Well, anyways, you should search it on the Googs and educate yourself. Remember what Mike always says, “You can’t go for gold if you suck.” See you next week!

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