Mike's Mondays with Mike McGee: Quantity over Quality

       If there’s one thing I’m, then it’s a proponent of contractions. About a third of the way down of that list of things that I’m, it’s that I’m a man of my word. I spoke-talked an agreement with yous guys about the procurement of several hours of gentlemanly leisure in twixt I would ascertain a more solid understanding of said medium. I had a family reunion this weekend so I didn’t get to play an exorbitant amount of the previewed game from last week, but I did get to play a lot of other games. There’s a motif this week for you readers at home to look out for, and it’s quantity over quality. And speaking of suchly, I shall now state the title of said embodiment of my promise making: Quantum Conundrum!

You don't need eye protection eh, nameless nephew o' mine? Think AGAIN!

       In this adventure, you play as Little Forget-Me-Not-An-Impossibility as you are dropped off at you super sweet uncle’s house. I think he hates you being here but always shows you inventions he’s working on…he’s conflicted. This time, however, your uncle ain’t there ‘cause he’s working on some secret invention. But, like all things, something goes horribly wrong and your uncle finds himself in a strange place. Of course, you wouldn’t’ve a clue on these goings-on if the COM link didn’t still work. You’re perfectly fine, except the house lost power and you won’t be able to leave until you get it working again. So that’s your objective, not saving your uncle, not figuring out what went wrong, but leaving the house. I mean you just got there for science’s sake!

Oh you're in Limbo, k cool story. How to leave, plz?

       Your uncle begrudgingly let’s you use the very thing that sent him to his current predicament and not because he’s worried about your safety, but he just doesn’t want you touching his stuff. Turns out it’s a dimension switcher glove, whoa! Through some mumbo-jumbo that some design cleverly thought out for me to shit on with my thorough nonxplanation, you get access to heavy and fluffy dimensions when the batteries for those places are activated in range of the glove. The fluffy dimension makes things 10x lighters and the heavy makes things 10x heavier. The glove protects you from these changes so you always stay the same mass and stuff. 


       Thankfully for the player, the uncle–alright! I’ll look up the name already–Professor Fitz Quadwrangle, omigod! I forgot how awesome that was. Well, anyways, thankfully for the player, Quadwrangle (teehee) set up his house so that one has to solve puzzle room after puzzle room, ala Portal (probably because Kim Swift, the designer of this game, was lead designer on Portal), to get to the generators. You know, or else the game would be pretty boring. You can go back after completing a section and try to meet the time and shift goals by solving the puzzle with the least amount of dimensional shifts and quickest time possible. I haven’t gotten to the puzzles that involve the other two dimensions so look forward to more on this title. I haven’t even mentioned Ike yet…because I really don’t know what he’s there for yet. I also just realized that, unless you have steam, you haven’t even had a chance to play this game. I feel like I’m on one of dem fancy interweb review sitejiggers. Hot Dog!

I expect purpose! But you're soo cute, I guess I can make an exception

       I played more games with the family this week. One such title that I played was 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa for the Nintendo Wii (yep that's the title). As far as sports games go, this one is pretty simplistic. I mean if you don’t have a nunchuck in, the game will move your character for you! Can’t get much more simplistic than that. It’s a pretty fun party game, which is something I feel weird saying about a sports game, but if you meet someone who’s played this game, you’ll get the same reaction. There’s something satisfying about waggling to score goals and the waggling to hear that satisfying vuvuzela buzzing in victory. It’s really not complicated of a game to pick up and learn in like 10 mins and I’ll always pull this one out at parties for a good laugh.

Those silhouettes pop up outta nowhere. It's pretty hilarious

      This next game happens to be one of my sister, Catherine’s, favorites: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. This is a fun action hack and slashy adventure game that happens to involve a little bit of co-op. All your favorites are here, from Aragorn to Pippen and you fight your way through the story in three different tiers, The Path of the King, The Path of the Wizard and the Path of the Hobbit, like in the movie. The characters you play as level up and you can buy buffs and combo attacks with the experience points that you get. The game as an epic environment at times, especially during the big battle levels when there’s a lot of stuff going on in the background. The game is set up so that the more you attack the more you’re “skill circle” fills up. The more it fills up the more points you’ll get off of kills going from fair kills, to good, excellent, and perfect kills. There’re parry attacks that’ll get you to perfect mode automatically, which is perfect (tiddlyhee) for taking out huge hordes of enemies.

Pic of me and my sister actually playing...Gamespot bought the rights to the pic from us for $0.32

       The game’s camera can be wonky at times and the difficulty can get a little frustrating with the games apparent lack of checkpoints on some of the longer levels, which becomes particularly frustrating when co-op is factored in. I know she’s trying so I don’t get to upset with Cat, but have you ever heard of blocking?? The animations, cut scenes, music, and voiceovers are fantastic and fit the game’s epic feel very well. It’s a very well constructed game and always fun to play through with or without a friend or blockphobic sister.

Blocking's for Orcs!

       I’m ending it there and as I look back to proofread my work…er, no the opposite of that, as I trust my writing instincts to have gotten what I really meant to say written down, I’m thankful that I don’t have a painfully tired gimmick in my writing like Johnny boy down there’s got. I mean it was cute when you started insulting my work, but it’s starting to get a little stail. You’d best mix it up a bit to keep it fresh. If I purposely misspelled every word in this post, where would I be then? The way you handled it last week was a step in the right direction, but I fear that you lack the capacity to consistently keep it fresh. Think about it. See you next week, folks!